eMarviews

Admit it. It's happened to you before. (Otherwise why would you be reading this post! :)

First of all (you may be asking yourself), how do I know I have rancid breath?

• You just ate a tuna and onion sandwich
• People are running away from you or making funny faces when you speak with them (like what happened to SpongeBob)
• Someone just told you that your breath is kickin (and not in a good way)
• You lick the back of your hand, let the saliva dry, smell it and almost pass out

• you have an hour to spare before speaking with someone:
1. move to the nearest store or your house (whichever is closest)
2. if at the store, buy a toothbrush and toothpaste and the strongest Listerine (or the store brand which is normally cheaper) you can find
3. if you have time, floss (really, you should be doing this every time you brush, but you know how that goes...)
4. brush your teeth thoroughly for at least 60 seconds. (make sure you brush your tongue, too.) check to make sure you have brushed your teeth well by touching your teeth with your tongue. if you don't feel your teeth completely smooth, brush again.
5. rinse and gargle at least 3 times with fresh water each time
6. get a mouthful of Listerine and rinse and gargle for at least 60 seconds. you'll probably be in tears because of the listerine after 60 secs, but it will be worth it.
7. finally, ask a trusted family member or friend, if available, if your breath still stinks. if no one is available, do the quick lick-the-back-of-the-hand check
8. if you still smell, start over with step 3. repeat, as necessary.
• you have less than 15 minutes to spare and can't break to go anywhere. you can do any or all of these steps, but please do at least one:
• ideally, delay the meeting until you can brush your teeth
• you know there's always a gum or mint person in the office, ask for piece (nicely, of course. beg if you have to). HINT: make sure to check the boss' secretary
• depending on how picky you are, you can do this: there's normally a (smart) person that brings their toothbrush and toothpaste, ask the person to borrow the toothbrush...just joking...  see if they can give you some toothpaste and brush your teeth with your finger
• ask a trusted colleague how bad your breath smells. try to get a rough idea of how far your stank breath is traveling as you talk. ask your colleague to take small steps away from you until s/he no longer smells you. try to stay at least that much away from the person you need to speak with.
• the person is on her way to speak with you and you only have 30 seconds to react
• tell him the truth and say that you ate a foul smelling sandwich for lunch and ask if he has any mints. he will appreciate your honesty.
• try to stay as far away from her as possible so that your dragon breath doesn't reach her.
• talk away from him (not towards him). this may seem rude, but may be necessary.
• if you must speak face to face, speak as little as possible. (now would be a good time to practice your listening skills.)
• don't use too many words that begin with the letter H.
• cover your mouth a little. (though this may give them the impression that their breath stinks...)
• practice your hiding skills.
• run!

I hope you find this helpful! (Feel free to add any tips of your own.)

Tags: rancidbreath, bad breath, stinky breath, listerine, mouth wash, tips, lifehacks, brushing, teeth, tongue, gargle, wash, floss

Posted by eMarv at 03:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Just got this in a commission junction email and thought it would be of interest.

ATTENTION AFFILIATES:

Commission Junction recently received word that Maryland's version of the "Affiliate Tax" bill was introduced without warning only days ago, and it may be enacted later today or early Tuesday. Unfortunately, Maryland affiliates have had almost no time to react, so your voice needs to be heard within hours, if possible.

Here is a link to information on the bill: http://mlis.state.md.us/2009rs/billfile/sb1071.htm

Although Commission Junction is not in a position to provide you with legal and tax advice regarding the bill and the action to take, if you oppose this bill, you may wish to contact Speaker Busch at michael.busch@house.state.md.us AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Click here to access a template with suggested language you may choose to complete and modify accordingly and send to Assembly Member Busch stating your opposition to the proposed bill.

Together we can speak up and hopefully make a difference!

Thanks in advance for your help,

Kerri Pollard
General Manager
Commission Junction

Here's the text of the document:

The Honorable MICHAEL ERIN BUSCH
Speaker of House of Delegates
State House, H-101
Annapolis, MD 21401 - 1991
Subject: OPPOSITION to S.B. 1071, as introduced in the Maryland Senate on March 28, 2009

Dear Assembly Member Busch:
I am a small business owner with a website, and I am in strong opposition to S.B. 1071, which could require retailers that advertise and receive direct or indirect referrals from banner ads and click-throughs on websites, such as mine, to collect sales tax in Maryland.

I am opposed to this bill because it would substantially harm my small business by reducing a large source of revenue that I rely on to survive. This revenue results from providing advertising on my website as part of an “affiliate” or “associate” program with out-of-state retailers. [Describe how your business model is set-up and what you contribute to the local economy.]

If retailers believe that doing business with me will result in their having to collect sales tax on all Maryland sales, they likely will sever ties with my business, putting the viability of my business at risk. Such was the case in New York State where Overstock dismantled its affiliates program and I am told by my colleagues that hundreds of other business followed Overstock’s example. This left thousands of affiliates – most of which are small- and medium-sized businesses with a major loss of income.

For these reasons, I respectfully oppose this legislation.

Sincerely,

Posted by eMarv at 05:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

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